A Joyful Attitude

Like many, I drank too much in my young adult years.

I loved alcohol - the taste,

The falling away of inhibitions - this is why some call it liquid courage,

But most of all, the way I felt loved, and loving, 

Under its influence. 

I wanted to, and did, tell people I loved them.

And they told me the same.

Unconditionally.

We feel this way because our brain cells are dying

No need to fear death - it is a joyful release

(

Unless you cheat - suicides I have spoken too

Who were unsuccessful

Always say the overwhelming feeling is regret

And the shame of hurting so many 

By their choice to opt out.

Life is a gift - this I swear.)

When I decided enough of the sloppy drunk life

When I experienced a moment of grace,

And was reborn into sobriety, 

I wondered how that loving and joyful person,

Who I am really, when you take away life's illusions,

Could be born through me, as a sober person.

I think the answer is 

Blowing out the rest of my 'puzzle pieces' *

*See Dream Interpretation IV